May 24, 2003
Giles gave me this book so I could write about all the stuff that's happening.
I think he thinks it will help me deal with suppressed emotional trauma or some such. Not that he said it that way.
I mean he's not suddenly channeling Oprah or anything. He just handed it
to me and said, "I saw this in the motel gift shop and remembered that you enjoyed keeping a journal when you were younger.
This might be a good time to start again."
So, dear Diary, here's what has happened so far: Sunnydale's toast. So is Spike.
Anya didn't make it. Andrew did.
Figure that one out.
I'm not sure yet how I feel about Spike after what he tried to do to Buffy.
I never really understood what was going on between them. I don't see how he could have been so nice to me and then tried to rape my sister.
Buffy won't talk about him at all. When someone mentions him she just says, "Spike sacrificed himself to save us," and then starts talking about something else.
At least she can say his name. That's more than Xander will do with Anya.
I really miss her and I guess Xander does, too. Although he just walks away when anyone mentions her name.
Everything has been so crazy, I don't even know the name of the town we're in.
I do know we've been in this motel for 4 days, 6 hours and 32 minutes. Not that I'm keeping track or anything.
It still feels like everything that happened was some kind of bad dream.
After Sunnydale fell into the gigantic sinkhole, (Yeah, that's what those morons on TV and at the newspapers are calling it) we were on our way to take Mr. Wood and everyone else who was hurt to a hospital when the bus broke down.
We were lucky that the hospital wasn't very far away since we had to carry the people who were hurt.
Then we walked forever, ok so maybe it was only about a mile and a half, until we found a motel.
Everyone checked in and then I took a shower and slept for about 3 days. I didn't even mind sharing a room with Buffy.
At least it was only two of us in the shower.
I woke up one time and she was gone and I got kind of scared. Then I heard her in the next room talking to Giles.
I couldn't hear what they were saying, but she was there a long time. When she came back she was carrying
this silly toy pig (and I never understood why everyone thinks she's so tough
when she always slept with a stuffed toy, I mean I don't do that. Now.)
Anyway, I could tell she'd been crying. I was just about to go punch Giles in the nose (even if he had
somehow found her a Mr. Gordo II) when I noticed that she didn't seem sad.
I mean, I know that this doesn't make sense, but it seemed that even though she might be sad, she wasn't unhappy.
She's been so not-Buffy for so long it's hard to describe how she looked. Peaceful, maybe?
Yeah, I think that's it. She looked peaceful.